Skinny Love
by short-macchiato
Summary: Following their break up Enjolras struggles to adapt without Eponine. As much as he tries, he can't keep himself away from her.


**This can be read individually or as part of an ongoing collection, there is only one part out right now called Stubborn Love. You don't have to read it to understand this one, but if you want to, feel free to read it too :)**

* * *

Come on Skinny Love just pass the year, pour a little salt and we were never here

* * *

It's been six months since her overdose and the group is out for a celebratory dinner. Drinks are flowing and she even dares to have a glass of red. She stops at just one and she is proud, it is concrete evidence that she is making progress. She notices how Cosette watches her out of the corner of her eye and gives the blond a reassuring smile. Before her overdose she had never had much to do with the other girl but ever since that day, Cosette took it upon herself to help Eponine with her recovery, has a positive influence on her life and Eponine wasn't complaining, rather, she was appreciative. Before him, she had never really had someone to look out for her, to help her out when she was down, or even just someone to talk to and Cosette seemed more than willing to fill that role, and Eponine was more than willing to accept her in it.

Cosette wrapped her tiny hand around Eponine's and squeezed it softly "We are all so proud of you Eponine, really. Remember that we are all always here for you, whenever you need us."

"Well almost everyone" she replied with a sweet smile before meeting before meeting Enjolras's eye, he had been watching her from his spot further down the table all night and she had struggled to ignore it. He looks down upon hearing it, as if the foam on his beer was incredibly interesting and the table descends into an awkward silence.

She didn't really know what made her say it. Her personal filter had never worked too well and some part of her, for some reason just wanted to hurt him. Perhaps she was a horrible person for thinking like that. But before he looked down, while he was staring at her it was almost as if she could see the hurt flashing across his features. And for some sick reason, she was more proud of hurting him than she was of her six months sober. She hated the way she was but would never make an attempt to change it.

She holds a grudge against him, and doesn't really know why. Hell, she would never stay with a tragic drug addict so why would she expect him to stay with her. He never wanted to save her and he told her that. He expected her to clean up, to rid herself of the drugs. But he was not going to baby her through it. She needed to know how to care for herself. He wasn't always going to be therefore her but neither of them expected their relationship to be over so quickly. And as much as she liked to deny it, she was still hurting and if she was hurting than he deserves to hurt too.

After a few awkward moments Courfeyrac saves the situation, throwing out some controversial comment about the Yankees game, which send the table into ravenous debate. Enjolras looked across the table at Eponine who was talking quietly with Cosette, shook his head and drained his beer, if only she knew the effect she had on him.

* * *

Tell my love to let me go, cut off all the ropes and let me fall.

* * *

It is late that night or early the next morning and both Eponine and Gavorche are in bed when they are woken by a brisk knock on the front door. Back when she was at her worst, a few years ago she would frequently have visitors at night, dropping off drugs and paying off debts, but ever since she won custody of Gavroche, home visits quickly ended. She was sure it was just an old contact, someone she hadn't paid coming to look for her. So she ignores it, at least as best as she can. But the knocking continues until she can hear Gavroche groan in the other room and yell at her to answer the door.

"Fine" she shouts, rolling out of bed, jumping a little at how cold the tiles are. Looking through the door she sees a familiar face "Hi?"

Enjolras was breathing hard, as if he had just run to her home from his apartment "Do you know why I don't talk to you, why I don't spend any time with you" he shouts, and she remembers how terrifying he was when he was angry "Do you? Do you know why I don't ask about you condition, why I don't visit Gav? That boy was practically a son to me, do you think any of this was by choice?"

"Do you want to come-"

He ignores her "It's because I can't. I want to, trust me but I can't because every time I look at you, every time I listen to you or on the rare occasion that I actually talk to you I love you, I love you more and more every day and I can't. I can't love you. Every time I hear your name, if you brush past me when we're out I miss you, everything you do, everything I do reminds me of you and the fact that I'm not with you and it is killing me inside. I can't eat, I don't sleep I have no idea how I am still functioning properly, and sometimes I think that maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm going insane without you."

"Enjolras please you'll-"

His eyes are wide as he speaks, words spilling from his mouth, which he has little control of, which is strange for him and even stranger for her to see. He was always so controlled "You consume me, completely and I hate it, but I can't stop it and God do I want it to stop. It's not healthy for me; you're not healthy for me. When I was with you, you were a distraction and now that we're apart I am no better and I can't do it anymore. I hate that I can't stop, that I can't just turn it off. I hate that I feel this way about you and this feeling, this sorrow, it's almost addictive and I feel like it's something that connects me with you, sorrow, addiction and despair, we share it. I never wanted to share it with you. I never wanted to be like this." He runs his hand through his hair.

"Enjolras, please" she puts a hand comfortingly on his arm "Come inside, I'll get you some water, you can calm down we can talk ab-"

"No" his voice is shaking as he step away from her, far enough to ensure no contact between the two "No, if I go in there with you, I'll never want to leave."

She steps toward him again "Then why come here?"

He just shakes his head and steps away from her again "I don't know."

And he leaves her standing alone in the doorway, in a stunned silence over what she had just witnessed. She's tried, her eyes heavy and she is cold but now she feels completely empty too. She wanders back to bed, and tries to get some sleep.

* * *

Who will love you, who will fight? And who will fall, far behind?

* * *

**The End.**

**Thank you for reading, please review, I really appreciate it.**


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